


Shattered

by TatiannaSparrow



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Emotional, Gen, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 04:32:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6180292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TatiannaSparrow/pseuds/TatiannaSparrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my take on how Ben felt before he started interrogating Rey and how the persona of Kylo had to hold him together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shattered

Inspired by the idea that Ben left Rey on Jakku and the song This Isn’t It by Taeyang.

This is my first fic I have ever posted. It’s a short drabble that’s meant to make your feels hurt.

 

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The room was dark except for the slivers of moonlight that slipped through the hole called a window in the living space attached to his bedroom. The tall, dark figure of a helmetless Kylo Ren sat slumped over on the sofa in the middle of the room. His head was heavy in his hands as he propped his elbows up on his knees, heart heavy with a guilty burden that he just couldn’t shake. Deep down in Kylo’s heart, the heart of Ben Solo, he knew that he had done the one person he cherished the most in this world wrong. Kylo could mask this emotion for most of the time, but every once in awhile, he needed a break from the murderous facade, just so he could wallow in his guilt.

“I’m sorry…” he whispered hoarsely as he looked down at the table in front of him. On the table was a dried, withered flower crown that was made just for him many years ago, in a much better time. In a time where a young Ben Solo could laugh and be happy with his best friend, a little girl named Rey Kenobi. In the beginning of their friendship, it was always Rey approaching Ben, who would always sit alone when he ate or read his holobook. She was the one that made him open up his lonely heart for the better, just to betray her later. Well, not really betray, but make her feel as lonely as he did or even worse. Ben never wanted to leave her there on Jakku, but he had no other choice in that moment. He had to save her and only her before anyone else, because she was precious to Ben, and he knew that she would save him again.

Now that he had her in that interrogation chair, and saw what was in her mind, Ben’s heart broke into a million pieces all over again when he realized that she remembered nothing from her childhood. All she remembered was being left all alone on Jakku, calling out for a lanky teen that she could never really remember the face of. All she saw was a murderer and a villain. At that moment, Kylo held the pieces of Ben together and continued through the process, knowing what needed to be done. Once back in the safety of the darkness of his room, Kylo let the pieces of Ben crash down around him as he silently sobbed at the loss of his friend, who grew into the most lovely and strong woman that he had ever seen. “Why does it have to feel like this…,” Ben muttered softly into his hands that were wet with tears.

“She’ll never remember me…I’ve screwed up again, just like always…,” he continued on into the night, softly confessing the feelings in his true heart, hoping that the force would carry them to her.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Please save me…”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my fic!! This is the first fic I have ever posted. Please tell me if you like it.


End file.
